Highs and Lows

Like everything else in life, Peace Corps service has its highs and lows.

Culture shock has affected me more than I expected it would.

Homesickness has affected me more than I expected it would.

Seasonal affective disorder has affected me more than I expected it would.

Loneliness has affected me more than I expected it would.

The good news is that tomorrow is Friday and the start of fall break. I am leaving tomorrow to go visit the most beautiful Ukrainian I know, Natalia. She is the wonderful woman who hosted me during training. I’ll be back in my training community along with all four of my training mates. I’ll also be meeting some of the newest trainees in Ukraine and giving a couple presentations to them: one about workplace values in Ukraine and another about culture shock. Then, next weekend is Halloween, and I’ll be celebrating in Harkiv along with a whole bunch of other PCVs. Also, tomorrow I am going to try to teach some of my students how to carve pumpkins. Holidays so far have been the most difficult days, but it looks like that won’t be true of Halloween this year!

Happy Halloween!

Thomas

P.S. I recently read a Buddhist saying: If there were no illusion, there would be no enlightenment. I guess I could say in other words, if there were no lows, there would be no highs.

A new camera makes me happy! (video)

I filmed this video a few days ago (Saturday, Sept. 4, 2010) just after I bought my new camera. Backstory: I lost my old camera/ it was stolen this past June. For two and a half months I was grieving its loss. It felt good to get a new one!

Another Beautiful Run (Aug. 25, 2010)

I just got back from another beautiful run. I’ve been running – on again off again – since high school, but running this summer has given a sense of pleasure that is new to me. Being on the earth and covering ground and seeing my environment and moving my body and breathing deeply. Wearing only my sneakers and my shorts, feeling the breeze against my body. It’s an experience that is altogether enjoyable. It used to be torturous. But, it’s not about beating the clock anymore, it’s not about reaching some number on the scale, and it’s not about making a grade in gym class. It’s about running – in and of itself – and I love it!

Mosquitoes and an Outhouse (July 27, 2010)

Camp TOBE


(Teaching Our Boys to Excel)

July 11 – 16, 2010

Kreminna, Ukraine



The mosquitoes were out in full force. The “summer shower” left something to be desired. And, going to the bathroom? Let’s just say that having a bowel movement was something to be avoided.



Why, then, was this camp a new highlight of my Peace Corps service and one of the most rewarding experiences of my life?



When I joined the Peace Corps, I had some pretty grandiose ideas about the kind of important work I’d be doing to help people in need. That kind of idealism pulled me through the pressures of training and into my final site placement. Six months later, though, after completing my first semester as an English teacher in my new community, I was facing feelings of disappointment, questioning the significance of my work, wondering why I was not able to build relationships with the people in my town, and unsure if I was even wanted at my site.



Such misgivings, however, were long gone by the time I finished a week at Camp TOBE. Let me enumerate the reasons why.



First, the camp atmosphere was a perfect environment for a burgeoning of relationships. Anyone who has been to camp knows that the campers and staffers quickly become like a family. This is always a good thing, but for me, who had been so longing for a meaningful connection with people in the country where I serve, its significance cannot be overstated.



Second, camp, though it was located a 10-hour train ride from my site, was the best thing I’ve done for integration into my community. I brought a student from my school to the camp, and the relationship he and I formed is invaluable to me, not to mention the new relationship I developed with his parents and family, who extended to me a significant level of trust when they agreed to send their son to my camp.



Third, I had the opportunity at camp to address some of the significant kinds of issues that originally drew me to the Peace Corps. My official job in Ukraine is to teach English, but I signed up for much more than just that. At camp TOBE, I was able to work with the campers in addressing such issues as gender equality, HIV/AIDS prevention, and human trafficking. The campers even engaged in a debate about gay marriage.



Fourth, camp TOBE was a big project that I worked hard on, so its successful completion naturally came with a general sense of accomplishment that felt good to me.



And, besides all that, camp was plain fun! We went swimming and canoeing. We played football (American style), volleyball, ultimate frisbee, and the Ukrainian water game “Latka.” The boys made their own piñatas just before busting them open for candy. There were relay races, an egg drop, and a huge bonfire on the last night.



So, in my final estimation of Camp TOBE, yes, there were a lot of mosquitoes, and they found ways to bite me even though I was applying repellent three times a day. Yes, I had to shower in cold water. Yes, the outhouse was scary. And, quite frankly, it was a lot of work to direct a camp. But, it was more than worth it. I had a blast while engaging in meaningful work with an all-star group of Ukrainian young men, and it redefined my Peace Corps experience. I would do it all over again (and, indeed, I intend to!).

Small Victories: Trail Mix and Camp (July 6, 2010)

It’s all about the small victories!




One of the many (many, many) things I miss about America is Great Value brand mountain trail mix. My thoughtful parents know how much I like my trail mix, so they have sent me several bags of it since I’ve been in Ukraine. Every time I have received it, I have ripped into the bag and feasted until it was gone. The bag of trail mix, though it is admittedly a large bag, never lasts more than a couple days.



At the market right here in Lebedyn, I found a seller who has nuts and dried fruit. Today I bought 100 grams of almonds, 100 grams of cashews, 200 grams of sunflower seeds, and 200 grams of assorted dried fruits. I brought it home, mixed it all together, and made a delicious trail mix. And I feel like a champion! It’s all about the small victories.

Another, more significant victory which I accomplished today was finalizing my student’s travel logistics for Camp TOBE. I am heading up a boys’ camp this summer called TOBE (Teaching Our Boys to Excel). I tried and tried and tried to get my students to sign up and was baffled when no one wanted to go. Eventually, I got two boys to commit. I realize now that the summer camp culture of America doesn’t exist so much in Ukraine. I always looked forward to summer camp when I was younger. I loved it every year. But, in Ukraine “camp” usually means a dull day program at school. It’s not something the students get excited about. Now that I know this, I’ll approach the situation differently next year, and I’m sure I’ll have a whole gang of campers headed off to the various Peace Corps camps!



Anyway, back to my two brave pupils who did agree to go to TOBE this summer. In Ukraine, it is illegal for a minor to travel alone or with a foreigner. This wasn’t a problem for my boys because one of them just turned 18. He’s not a minor, so they were okay. At the last minute, however, he backed out. I was terribly disappointed, but he’ll be going to Kyiv during the week of camp for an appointment at a university there. It’s a big deal, more important than TOBE, so I’m happy for him. That left a HUGE problem, though. How would my other boy get to camp? It’s about a 10 hour trip by train from our town to the camp. After I tried so hard to get my students to sign up, he’s my lone faithful pupil who is committed to go. And, I depend on him to have a blast at camp and then tell all his friends about when he gets home so that more students will go next year.



I called Valeriy, a university student in Sumy, and asked him if he might be interested in staffing the camp with me. To my pleasant surprise he agreed! So the problem is solved. Camp is going to be great! I will leave this Thursday, arriving to camp early to get things set up. The camp will run from Sunday to Friday. I have staffed two other camps already this summer, and I have two more to go. But, this camp is the one that I am leading, so naturally it’s the most important to me. Send me some good energy for a successful week!

Quite a Ride (March 8, 2010)

I just made it home after a great weekend with a few other Peace Corps volunteers, and it was quite a bus ride coming back.




First, I saw Ukraine like I hadn’t seen it before. The windows weren’t frozen so I could look out. And it was clear and sunny, so I could see really far across the snow-covered rolling plains. It was beautiful.



Second, I saw a herd of six deer.



Finally, I was awkwardly close to a stranger. I knew as soon as she got on the bus that she was very drunk. She planted herself right next to me and quickly passed out, slowing slouching over onto me until her head was in my lap and her beer was spilled on the floor of the bus. I thought about pushing her the other direction, but that would have meant falling into the aisle. Then, I thought about getting up and finding myself another seat, but I had already become her pillow. And, today is International Women’s Day (not recognized much in the States, but a big deal in Ukraine). To be honest, it made me really sad to see her like that – totally wasted and alone on a bus… on Women’s Day. So, I stayed there, and I was here pillow.



Happy Women’s Day!

Thank You Mom and Dad! (Feb. 8, 2008)

I got your packages today - both of them. I have never enjoyed peanut butter as much as I did tongiht! I ate big spoons of it with an apple. The honey-roasted sunflower seeds are delicious. It feels really good to have some familiar snacks from home. I'll save the Valentine's Day candy for my students, but I did sneak a little sample already. They'll love to have candy from America. And I'm curious to learn what kind of tasty dish I can make with tuna, veg. mix, and parsley. I'll pick up some mayo for that. Now, I'm restocked on floss and anti-bac wipes. The galoshes are perfect. And the big collapsible jug will make fetching water more convenient. I was tempted to go and fetch some right now so that I could tell you how well it worked, but it's 10:30 pm, so I'll wait till morning.




Today, I wore the black thermal you sent me. I was counting the days and realized this is the 5th day in a row that I have worn this shirt. Who would have thought I would wear a shirt five days in a row? I feel like I'm seeing life from a new set of eyes. They say that traveling abroad teaches a person how small the world is, but I can see that it's actually much bigger and more glorious than I ever knew. I guess I'm poor by American standards, but my spirit tells me that I'm very rich. What a journey this is! Thanks for the packages, and for everything. I love you, and I’ll talk to you soon.



Thomas, Jr.

Why did I join Peace Corps? (Feb. 8, 2010)

First, I saw Peace Corps as a valuable opportunity for me to expand my awareness of the world by traveling, living abroad, and learning a new language.




Second, this is an important first step on my career path, opening new opportunities for graduate school.



Third, this is a chance for me to do something significant to help my global community through two years of intense humanitarian work.



I had known that my lifestyle here wouldn’t always be comfortable, but I’d had no way to know exactly how that would look or feel. So, after arriving to my place of service, I faced difficulties which I hadn’t foreseen. And, like all Peace Corps volunteers, I had to ask myself, “Is this really what I want to do for the next two years?” Quite frankly, “Will I stay?”



I miss home badly. I am experiencing a new kind of loneliness. Washing laundry by hand is worse than I thought. Language is an ever-present challenge. My cooking here leaves something to be desired. This kind of winter takes some getting used to. My feet miss my car. I am a foreigner, and I feel that reality every day. There is plenty that is not easy.



But I know now more than ever that I am in the right place, doing the right thing, and that I will stay for my full term of service. The rewards are great; I am feeling that already.



Lebedyn, Ukraine, is no longer an unheard of dot on a map. It is my home. The people here are no longer an abstract idea in my mind. They are my students, my colleagues, my neighbors, and my friends. They want me here, and they are grateful for my help. Knowledge of the English language will open many big and exciting doors for my students, and they know it. That is why they study so hard. That is why they stay after school for English Club. That is why they are so eager to practice English with me even outside the classroom. They are my renewed motivation. They are an added, and most important, reason for me stay, and I do so gladly!

Clumsy in the Kitchen (Jan.28, 2010)

After dinner tonight I cleaned my kitchen and put some water on the stove for coffee. A few moments later I caught myself sitting at the table lost in thought and staring at the drainer full of dishes. I was thinking how they were poorly stacked and how the bowl balancing on the edge could so easily fall and break.




Now, my twin sister would tell you that I’m clumsy in the kitchen. I admit that while the two of us were living together in college, I broke a few dishes. But, I always insisted to her that it was not clumsiness; it was simple probability. Since I was the one who always washed the dishes, then it only made sense that it would be me who broke one occasionally. I told her that if she would wash the dishes more often, then she might break one too.



Yesterday marked four months since my arrival to Ukraine, and I hadn’t broken a single dish.



That was yesterday.



So, after I caught myself daydreaming about a bowl falling from my dish drainer, I left the kitchen and started washing some laundry. I should have fixed the poorly stacked dishes, but I didn’t. After doing a bit of hand-washing, I remembered that I had heated water for coffee and I decided I was ready for a break. I mindlessly went into the kitchen and reached for a coffee mug from the dish drainer. As I grabbed the mug, I remembered that the dishes were precariously piled together and I reached for that bowl balancing on the edge to make sure that it didn’t fall. Well, I was too late. The bowl fell, but not far; it landed safely in the sink… in one piece. The coffee mug, however, didn’t fare so well. I had reached to catch the bowl very quickly, and for some reason, I reached with the hand which was already clutching the mug. And, my hands were wet from washing laundry. The cup slipped from my hand, flew through the air, bounced off the fridge, and landed with a thud… chipped and cracked.



My first thought was not a pretty one, and not one I’ll repeat. My second thought was to recognize that I had created this situation with my daydreaming. I was surprised, as I usually am in such instances when I so clearly create my own reality. My third thought, which followed immediately, even as I still stood there in awe, was of Rev. Donna’s story about a girl who broke her grandmother’s antique dish and felt badly. It was a family heirloom, but the grandmother only smiled at her granddaughter and said it was already broken. I told myself that the mug had already been broken. It was meant to be.



I made my coffee in a different mug, and sat down to process what had happened. I was reminded of my creative power, and I decided to put that energy to good use. So, I took some time to visualize myself as a happy, healthy, and effective Peace Corps volunteer.



To be honest, my mind has been so consumed with making cultural adjustments and learning how to adapt to my new environment that I haven’t had much time for things spiritual. I didn’t foresee what a challenge it would be to do things like get clean water, wash laundry, find where to buy various essentials, learn what and how to cook, all while taking on a new profession as an English teacher. Today, though, I was gently reminded of things deeper, and I happily opened myself up to Spirit. I believe that there is a great potential for me here. I see myself finding that potential, doing something good for my Ukrainian community, making the most of my Peace Corps experience, and having a happy and productive two years here.



Speaking of being productive, I better go finish my laundry so I can get started on my lesson plans for school tomorrow.



Thank you, Spirit, for being with me here.

First Update from My New Site (Jan. 16, 2010)

First of all, have you ever had warm milk fresh from the cow?




I’ve been in my new home (I am finally at my permanent site) for about three weeks now, and food has been an issue. I’m living alone, thus cooking for myself. I can cook… in America. But, I’m not in America. And there isn’t a grocery store. And the market sells food that I’m not used to. So, cooking here requires an adjustment. And, slowly but surely, I’m adjusting. Last week, I made a delicious pot of borshch. And, this morning I got up early and went to the market (Saturday is the big market day) to buy fresh milk. Another teacher from my school met me at the market to introduce me to a dairy seller. The dairy seller is a lady with a cow(s) who lives in a nearby village. She brings her dairy products into our town on Saturday morning – milk, cheese, butter, sour cream. I signed up for a liter of milk every Saturday. So, I got home and boiled the milk (this is not the time to tell you about the very ugly problems I’ve been having with my digestion system; let’s just say I learned the hard way to boil everything!). Then I poured myself a glass and drank it with the fresh bread I also bought this morning. Bread is made locally, so the bread I liked in my training village is not available here. I’ve been trying to find bread that I really like. Today I found it! So, a slice of fresh bread and a cup of warm milk.



It was delicious. Honestly, like the most delicious thing I’ve had in the past several weeks. I just finished it, so I’m feeling very happy right now. Although, the doctor told me not to eat dairy while I’m having digestive problems, so I don’t know what will happen. I might not be very happy later.



Anyway, I’m typing this from my apartment. You know what that means, don’t you??? I finally have internet! And, it is a beautiful thing.



In other news, I have finished my first week of teaching. It was long and busy, but it was successful. The students and teachers are very excited to be working with me, and of course the feeling’s mutual.



Another thing I am happy to report. There is a fitness club in my town, and I joined it! But, it gets better. There is a yoga class! I’ve been going three times a week to do yoga, aerobics, and a bit of weight training. Besides the gym, I walk everywhere I go, which gets frustrating at times, but it’s good exercise. The school is a twenty minute walk; the market, 30 minutes; the gym, 40 minutes – of course, that’s all one way. So, I miss my car, but my body is shaping up.



That’s it for now. But, with internet in my apartment I’ll be able to post updates more often.



Thomas

In Kyiv (Nov. 15, 2009)

Today has been great! Shopping in Kyiv - such a beautiful city! And now I'm at a real coffee shop with real wifi and I used skype to talk to my family! Also, I finally got to put pictures of facebook!!! The album is titled "Ukraine"; you can find it on my profile.


So, quick update. I got my first haircut in Ukraine. No translator, just me and the hair stylist. It's all about the small victories here!

My team and I are planning to host a talent show at our school in the beginning of December. We'll be singing a traditional Ukrainian song. It's going to be a fundraiser; we're trying to raise money for the English department at our school. We are in this community for training. One more month and we'll be gone. They want a permanent volunteer to teach at their school. But, Peace Corps has given them some guidelines for improving their language department first. Hopefully, we can help and they'll have their own volunteer before long.

The last three weeks my team and I have been studying Ukraine with a different teacher than we had originally. Our second teacher has been working with Peace Corps for 6 years. He's amazing, and we are doing very well with the language! One month of trainging left, then a swearing-in ceremony on December 16th before we head to our permanent sites.

Okay, my travel mates are packing their things. Gotta go. Love you all!

Thomas

Nov. 06, 2009

I only have a few minutes, but I want to write a quick update.


First, the really big news, I am in Kyiv right now!!! This is my first trip to the city, so it's been a long time coming. I've been wanting to come here since I arrived. And Kyiv is beautiful.



Second, I think I've made it past the most difficult stages of culture shock. I am learning how things work here and am adapting quite well. Of course I am continuing to work hard studying the language, and it is paying off. It feels really good to finally talk to my host mother, although we've both done quite well learning sign language. I have to say how wonderful she is. Her food, her home, her concern for my well-being, her friendship. I certainly have a lot to thank her for.



The flu has made it to Ukraine, and it hit hard. All the schools in the whole country are closed for three weeks. That makes my teaching internship a little tricky, but we'll manage.



I went to church last Sunday. Actually, I went to three churches. A true theology major, I was fascinated. Believe it or not, I even got to see a wedding in a Ukrainian Orthodox Church. The third church I went to was Baptist. I only intended to find the church and read their sign outside. But, a sweet old lady would not let me stay out in the cold. She invited me inside the church, where I was greeted by four other old ladies and by their kisses on both my cheeks (they ain't afraid of no flu!). I told them I couldn't stay, but they insisted we pray together before I left. So we all got on our knees, and they said a prayer. It was a meaningful cultural encounter for me.



It's getting cold, but I'm glad to report that I was able to buy a big, warm (and stylish) Ukrainian coat.



Okay, my time is up. I'm in the Peace Corps Ukraine headquarters office right now, and I want to find a book in the library before my group leaves.



Love you all and miss you!



Thomas

Three Weeks In (Oct.16, 2009)

It's been three weeks, and I'm not sure whether time has flown by quickly or if it feels more like three months. At any rate, today is my second opportunity to access the internet... thanks to the Cultural Center in Bareshivka. So, here is my long overdue update.




I am in my three-month training stage right now. So, technically I am still not a Peace Corps volunteer. I am a trainee. I get volunteer status if and when I complete my training, pass my language proficiency exam, and get sworn in. I live, study, and teach in a small village (about 3,000 people) in the Kyiv oblast. By train, I'm an hour or two away from Kiev; I'm hoping to make my first trip there this Sunday. Actually, Sunday is my only day off; we call it "reflection day." The rest of the week, I am learning Ukrainian (about 4 hours a day in a class of 5 students) and participating in a TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) internship - studying the educational system here, learning TEFL methodology, and teaching English at the local shool. Peace Corps does an excellent job with the training. It's a lot of work, overwhelming at times, but I expect a big pay off. It's not easy to learn a foreign language, but it's necessary. And I'm picking it up.



I live in an apartment with my host mother. Just me and her. She's wonderful, and we get along very well with sign language and my occassional attempts to apply what my language teacher has taught me.

I am in this village with four other PC volunteers - all wonderful people with whom I am very fortunate to work. In our group, I am one of the lucky ones because I have hot running water. That's not the case for all five of us.



Culture shock! How do I describe it??? I could give you a list of all the new things that I see and like. I could give you another list, equally as long, of things that I see and don't like. But, I won't, because I am trying to practice non-judgment. Things are different, and that's neither good nor bad. At any rate, I am grateful for this experience and enrichened by this culture.



That will have to do it for now. Thank you to everyone who has sent me messages and comments. I may not be able to respond to all of them. But, I hope you know that they are all very much appreciated. I love to hear from people back home, it helps me feel connected.



Thomas